Lately, I have not really known how to pray. How do you pray in accordance with God's will if you don't know His will? I started Anne Lamott's Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith today. She quotes Kathleen Norris, "Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine."
Today, I don't really like that. I might like both parts separately...but not together.
I want to pray for things I want (and believe God hears me). But sometimes, I don't want to be changed. I want to sit in my junk and be. I want to be sad, angry, bitter, disappointed, discouraged.
Tonight, we studied John 9, the story of the blind man Jesus healed with spit and mud. The disciples ask WHY? Why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents' sin?
Jesus' reply was that this happened so that the power of God could be displayed in him.
Once again, that shifts my mentality and perspective in the midst of difficult circumstances.
It reminds me that my struggle, the desert, the darkness in my life is here to draw me to Him for HIS GLORY.
I love that. It makes this hard season worth it.
Evermore - Hillsong
And as I look upon Your name
Circumstances fade away
Now Your glory steals my heart
You are holy.
Evermore my heart, my heart will say
Above all, I live for Your glory.
Even if my world falls, I will say
Above all, I live for Your glory.
Thanks for sharing your heart, Jess! Sometimes it helps just to pull out your mobile and "talk" to God. We sometimes make Him seem so far away and noble and untouchable. But that's what WE make him.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart and for being you.
ReplyDelete